So I made this…

Needs:

• A few pints of Fullers London Pride or ESB
• 1 large papaya
• 2 avocados (peeled and sliced lengthways)

Dressing:

• 2 tablespoons of lime juice
• 1 teaspoon of sugar
• 1/4 a cup of virgin olive oil
• 1 fresh red chilli (seeded and finely chopped)

Do

• Have a slurp of the London Pride or ESB
• Peel the papaya and avocado and cut lengthways thinly.
• Remove papaya seeds and put to one side. 
• Make the dressing: Whisk in a bowl the lime juice, sugar, olive oil, some mustard and seasoning. Pour over the salad and garnish with papaya seeds if desired. 
• Finish off the London Pride or ESB. 

Needs:

• 1 small barrel of Fullers London Pride
• 4 tuna steaks (3/4″ thick) from Portland
• 1 french stick

Marinade

• 1 onion, minced
• 4 scallions, minced
• 2 garlic cloves
• 3 tablespoons of grated ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon of hot pepper sauce
• dash of salt

Cucumber Salad

• 1 cucumber, peeled, seeded and chopped
• Dash of salt
• 1 garlic clove, crushed
• 1 hot pepper, seeded and minced 
• 1 tablesppon of fresh lime juice

Do this

1. Have a slurp of London Pride, then:
2. Place tuna steaks in a shallow dish.
3. Blend all the marinade ingredients together and pour over fish. Cover and soak for 2 hours in a fridge.
4. Cucumber salad: Salt cucumber and set aside for 10 minutes then pat dry. Mix garlic, cucumber, lime and pepper in a bowl.
5. Pre-heat the grill and grill for 5-7 minutes each side. Serve with cucumber salad and french bread. 
6. Finish the London Pride. 

You need

• 6 x Weymouth sardines
• 1 x Red chilli (de-seeded & finely chopped)
• 2 x Cloves of garlic (finely chopped)
• 1 x tbsp lemon infused olive oil
• 1 x Unwaxed lemon, cut into wedges
• 4 pints of Fullers London Pride

Instructions

1. Gut the sardines — Open the fish, place flesh side down on a chopping board and press down firmly along the back-bone until the fish is flattened

2. Carefully remove the back-bone. Remove the head, tail and any small bones

3. Mix the chilli garlic oil in a large shallow bowl, add the sardines and coat well on both sides. Leave in the fridge for 20-minutes

4. Heat the barbecue (or grill). Cook sardines for 2-3 minutes on each side

5. Barbecue the lemon wedges until they start to char

6. Serve with salad, new potatoes and French bread

7. Wash down with

Why not hook out a crab, and on the way home pick up some bread and coriander to make the freshest seafood treat possible to finish off your weekend – That’s what I’m going to do.

Ingredients

• 8 ounces of crab meat
• 1 red chilli (split and de-seeded)
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• 6 tbsp olive oil
• 2 tbsp finely chopped coriander
• 1 large garlic clove
• 4-6 slices of sourdough bread
• Sea-salt and black pepper

How to cook

1. Dice the chilli and stir into the crab.
2. Add half the lemon juice and stir in 4 tbsp of olive oil.
3. Stir in the coriander
4. Season with salt and pepper
5. Taste and adjust seasoning (possibly add more juice)
6. Toast the bread, rub one side vigourously with peeled garlic and dribble with the remaining olive oil.
7. Spread the bread lavishly with crab
8. Wash down with Fullers London Pride

Just add them to an omelette or just eat them with nothing more than a drop of lemon juice.

Needs

• 1 x small barrel of Fuller’s London Pride
• 1 x small cup of sea urchin roes
• French bread
• Grated cheese

Do

First, have a slurp of Fuller’s London Pride then:

Butter a lightly toasted piece of French bread and spread lightly with a layer of sea urchin roes. Sprinkle with grated cheese and toast under the grill until the cheese is just melted or lightly browned.

Finish the Fuller’s London Pride.

Needs

• 1 x small barrel of Fuller’s E.S.B
• 1/2 cup of sea urchin roes
• 1/2 cup sour cream, soft cheese, mayonnaise or a combination of all three
• Garlic salt
• Minced onion
• Any of your favourite seasons
• 1 x French stick or crisps

Do

First, have a quick slurp of Fuller’s E.S.B. then:

Put the sour cream (or whatever) into a blender and add the sea urchin roes until you have a definite flavour. Add the garlic salt, minced onion and seasoning. Decorate with parsley or similar for appearance. Serve with French stick or crisps.

Finish the Fuller’s E.S.B.

Needs:

• 1 small barrel of Fullers London Pride
• 1lb of shelled prawns
• 6 spring onions
• 5 tbsp water
• 4 tsp soy sauce
• 5 tbsp oil
• 3 tsp corn flour
• 2oz mangetout or shelled peas
• 1 tsp salt
• Half tsp ground ginger
• 1 tsp paprika
• 8oz can of straw mushrooms
• 2 tbsp dry sherry
• Small can of sweetcorn
• 2 oz blanched almonds
• 12oz Chinese cabbage

Do this

Cut the cabbage into 2 inch pieces and the spring onions into 1 inch pieces. Mix the water, corn flour and soy sauce. Heat the oil in a large frying pan and fry the almonds until slightly brown, stirring frequently. Remove and drain well. Stir fry the cabbage, spring onions, mange tout and sweetcorn with 1 tsp of salt for 2 minutes until the vegetables are tender, but still slightly crisp. Stir 2 tbsp of the corn flour into the vegetables and cook until it thickens and coats the vegetables.

Have a slurp of London Pride.

Remove to a serving dish and keep hot. Put the remaining oil in the pan and the prawns, ginger and paprika, along with the remaining salt. Stir fry for 3-4 minutes until the prawns are heated thoroughly. Add the mushrooms, sherry and remaining corn flour mixture. Stir fry for a further 3-4 minutes until the mixture thickens and coats the prawns. Spoon the prawn mixture over the vegetables and sprinkle with almonds.

Finish the London Pride.

Needs:

• 1 x small barrel of Fullers London Pride
• Quarter cup softened butter
• 6 scallops (prepared)
• 2 tsp worcestershire sauce
• 12 lean bacon slices, grilled until crisp
• 2 tsp chopped parsley
• Splash of lemon juice
• 1 french stick with butter

To Do:

1. Have a slurp of London Pride
2. Pre-heat grill
3. Wash scallop shells and spoon white flesh back into shells
4. Spread fish with butter, season with sauce and crumble bacon on top
5. Have a slurp of London Pride
6. Place shells/fish under grill and grill for two minutes
7. Sprinkle with lemon juice and parsley and serve with French bread
8. Finish London Pride

So, without further ado, and with no pretence of relating this to diving whatsoever…

Needs

• 450g of carrots
• 2 x oranges
• 2 x lemons
• 1.8kg sugar
• 300g of chopped raisin
• 450g clean wheat
• 25g yeast
• 4.5 litres of water
• 1 x box of Christamas crackers

Do

1. Wash and chop the carrots – don’t peel them though. Then boil them in the water until tender.

2. Strain

3. Slice oranges and lemons and put in bowl

4. Pour on the carrot liquid

5. Add sugar and stir ’till disolved

6. Stand to cool, add raisins and wheat

7. Add a sprinkle of yeast

8. Leave in bowl for two weeks!

9. Strain whatever is in the bowl into a demijohn and let it ferment out.

You can drink it at 12 months, but 2-3 years is magic.

When you do, pull your (three year old) Christmas crackers, put on a silly hat, and read a joke.

Finally, drink your carrot wine!