The Portland Homage

As is tradition, we aim to find the worst weather and the coldest time of year for the simple purpose of testing our metal. Unsurprisingly we have all forgotten what it was like last time (especially when last year the snow stopped us being able to drive there safely) but we seem to recall it being “fun” for some reason.

However, it all came flooding back early on Saturday morning as 11 of us headed out of Portland Harbour in the two club RIB’s and 5 miles across the bay to the wreck of the British Inventor. The water was cool, the air was cooler and dive times were realistically short.

Of course, the early season diving pretty much guarantees some fun and games.   Be it the DO forgetting his weight belt, the Dive Manager thinking he had clipped on his SMB when he hadn’t or a first class diver putting his torch into his mouth as he rolled over the side of the boat.

Hardly the London Fashion Show!

A welcome warm lunch in the sailing centre café and the realisation that Posh Dave was missing started some questions about where he was last seen. Had the dodgy toilet door got the better of him? Did he have to report home for an exceptionally long time? A few searches proved fruitless. The solution lay in the centre tannoy system. As we prepared for the second dive, across the Olympic venue Tom’s voice bellowing for “Posh Dave” will long remain in our memories. You will be relieved to know there were two cafes; Dave had found the second one.

........ Gone!


A few more Dive Leader training drills and another wreck saw us in the pub by 5pm and back to the Bunker for one of their famous 3 course feasts and soon to bed. Sunday morning offered a little more warmth in the air but the promises of “reduced faff” did not quite materialise. Nether the less the final wreck dive of the weekend was complete and the boats washed down by 11am.

Thanks to Tom for all his organising, Dean for getting both boats ready and all who went for making it the great social event (with a bit of diving) that it always is.

Statistics for the weekend:

  • Water temperature: 7 degrees
  • Air Temperature: 1 degree
  • Best creature: Large Thornback Ray
  • Biggest loss: DSMB and Reel
  • Worst excuse: “My wife’s back hurts”